I thought you were coming near. But how could one live on 2 shags a year?
You dragged me into this maze, convinced me that it would be worthwhile at the very start. I thought you were just desperate and we happened to find some comfort in each other so I just stayed silent and played truant. Isn’t ambiguity beautiful? In the ranks of people like me, doing the same job, ambiguity is the way to go by. But your persistence turned ambiguity into hope. It wasn’t much but I could still see, and definitely enough to say “yes” and hold on to it.
You asked me to give up on my life and career to be with you. I told you it was selfish, such request. But deep down inside, I wanted you to prove to me that you were right. One of the bosses asked me to come over yesterday. He asked me about future direction, painting me pictures of me going down this road and being one of them someday, professionally and personally, settling down with wife and kids. Was I allured? I’m not sure. But the whole time I thought of you and a different picture you painted for me.
I guess even though I was the player and you were the follower in the first match, you managed to turn the table around in the second. By making it available, one would open himself to being vulnerable as well. And yesterday I had one of the first tastes of those vulnerabilities upon seeing you there, probably with your scruff friends, with no morning messages like on the other days. More than before do I want to believe that I was both wrong and right.
We will know, won’t we?
Stars will explode in the sky.
But they don’t, do they?
Stars have the moments and they die.