The other day I just… snapped. People said I didn’t respond to their communication and failed to perform any work task. There are 3 things I remember clearly when my body decided to take its toll and shut the whole controlling process down that day: 1) I just broke down and cried right in the office.
I blamed the fact that couldn’t sleep at all the night before and, of course, the minor cold. You know that feeling when you are worried of time running out when you actually have time to carry out one simple thing, and then you end up not succeeding in doing it because of that worry? When I turned around, the sun light was already paving outside the window. I knew it was too late.
But then, 2) I remember losing control like that a few years ago, on the bed that I was sharing with Ben. It was all embarrassing appearing no longer cool and calm but just vulnerably dramatic in front of him. It was embarrassing this time too since some colleagues witnessed that scene. But nobody was Ben this time, nobody was patient enough to sit down and just pat my back.
3) He did that for a while and then it was all OK.