There were moments in the past year that could be sketched on the tree. Ferns might grow but they still lay intact.
It was the night in April in a thin and long stretched coastal city. Alan was with me, wearing his heart shaped glasses and purple t shirt, looking glittery like someone from a Ke$ha’s video, demonstrating how the glasses work with the giant firework display in the distance. It was an hour and a half long, with some awkwardness lingering since I guess we both didn’t know what to do. But it was beautiful seeing flying colors and seeing people all dropping whatever they were doing to turn to the same thing. A sense of belonging.
It was several nights after that Bathrobe, Alan & I were walking home from a drinking night. Bathrobe didn’t drink that much, and neither did I, but I was good at playing drunk since it gave me another cover to do certain things without being questioned. He held my hand. I held his hand as he was dragging me home. It was actually funny since it wasn’t really home, but just the bar, where we would put all the small chairs and sofas together to lie on. But as how the Edward Sharpe’s song goes, “home is wherever I’m with you.”
It was a night in February when George and I were harmonizing to a girl singing “You’re Still The One”, that song from the 90s. His hands were running under my jeans. Then the playlist shuffled to “Tonight You Belong With Me” and finally Lana Del Rey’s “Yayo”, with our hips swinging in the room, all drenched in the flickering yellow hotel room light. He asked me to stay but I didn’t. I wanted to guard myself, which eventually didn’t work that well.
It was a few months later, when DJ Man & I were lying on a bamboo bed at the beach. The wind was strong but the night was still young, especially when we had vodka and endless cigarette. But what was really memorable was the star lighted sky which you didn’t get to see much in my city. He said he could see the Milky Way at night sometimes, where he lived, and then he pointed up to the sky and showed me which constellation was what. What I did in return? I made him cry.
It was midnight in June, with the bell ringing and Owen & I were sharing a kiss right in front of the church where I met George the first time. It was not long, not sloppy, but blended well with the ambiance. After Owen, I found FJ. The moment was when I was working in a rural place, he came all the way from the city in a taxi for a 2nd date.
After all, I’m just another hopeless man who dies for romance.