I’d known it was a wrong idea to begin with but I’d never known it would be this bad.
Stumbling across the old photos of Loot, I dropped him a message. Little did I know that this led to a rather lengthy conversation, with him being a very typical Loot, sarcastic and so fucking narcissistic: he kept talking about how good he looked back then, how he’s gained weights, how his hair has changed, his being able to get a scholarship in Korea and all.
And I realized he’d completely forgotten about the fact that I’ve graduated and Loot was the first one to send me congratulation message. Also left in the forgotten were some of our rare memories. “Recall me,” he said. And “Never mind” was all I replied.
And then he asked me about my love life, to which I tried to pass with some random answers. Then, he told me he’d been living together with a Korean guy for one and a half year.
The last time we met was around 20 months ago. I guess some don’t really waste their time, do they?
I said goodnight after that and suddenly felt a sudden rush of bitterness. I know the answer should be me and has been me all along but why do they always get better? Why does that person who is so full of himself could be able to always get what he wants along the way, freely scattering brokenness behind? And I realize how badly I want to kick his self-kissing fat ass and throw it at his face that he is a total selfish self-absorbed person.
At least, that should be a better direction to channel my feelings rather than the fact that there’s still something for the guy named Loot echoing somewhere in this space.