I took it back. The thing I said yesterday about the sex date with that German guy. I’d thought that I’d be OK, I’d be laughing and worry-free and this habit would become an entertaining filler for me but it’s turned out not. Now I did felt like an item once so valuable but then leftover due to expired date.
I must be too dependent. Or this hollow is just too big. A hookup could only make it worse but at the same time is the only thing my hands could afford.