I want to kill. I’m angry.
It’s a quarter after one and I just got back from a night out with a “friend” whom I’d never met before and I also think that he contacted me since I’m the only one who existence he ever heard of in this town. Yes, he is traveling, with another friend, or so he said.
I went there since I want to know what he’s like in person, if luckily then I could be inspired by his story in some sort. And for the very first moment, no matter how hard they were trying to hide, I knew they were a couple, a gay couple.
During the conversation in which I acted like a snobbish annoying brat for no reasons at all, I was able to extract their story.
They came from different background, different races, cultures and everything.
They first met on the beach while one of them was wandering with heavy thoughts and the other sunbathing. And they talked. Just like that. Just like another American chick flick.
They don’t even have much contact with each other and yet, stay in a commitment, doing their long distance in over a year now.
They talk each night on Skype, one in Switzerland, one in Queensland. Let’s not talk about staying faithful but being able to at least do something together.
And now they are travelling backpack all around Asia together, exploring the wilderness, the hidden beauty, the craziness, in general, the unknown.
Those are the things that I always crave for, in my dreams, with Ben, whenever he visits me in my sleep. We did the same thing. No, we were able to pull off the same thing. But we didn’t right? Whatever they are doing right now has lasted longer than any relationships that I’ve ever had. Way longer…
I don’t know how to put this but watching your dream acting out in real life right in front of you, but not for you, you’re still an observer from the other side of the line, it just hurts a little. I’d rather just let it happen in an unconscious world that only build up in my head.
I’m trying to sleep since I haven’t had much sleep lately and I have to hit the road in another 3 hours. But the only thing I want to do right now is to write it down. To put the cherry on top of the cake, 1 of the places I want to work for just decided I’m not competent enough.